We Really Shouldn't Be Here

There’s only a few days left in 2011 and I look back on what a wild, roller coaster ride the year has been. At the beginning of last December, our board met and decided the church could no longer continue on. We would be flat broke in four months. Two years of work had not produced the needed difference to financially go on and our savings would be completely depleted. We planned to use our annual church meeting in early 2011 to recommend a vote to close the church by April first.
I was going to attend the Midwinter Pastor’s Conference in Chicago the first week of February. I would simultaneously go through the last of my ordination transfer proceedings and hand in a written proposal to close First Covenant Spokane.
Since 2011-2012 was going to be my daughter Kelsey’s senior year, Tonia and I had pre-decided not to look for another ministry position, but stay put in Spokane for at least one more year, working any job I could find.
Last year at Christmas, a homeless person who believed in our church gave us $10,000 to keep going. Thanks to that gift, the April deadline was pushed to June.
Some of our Board met with North Pacific Conference leaders in January, and they recommended we shut things down. In February at the Midwinter Conference I handed in the written proposal to close our church. 122 years of ministry was over—it’s time was done—everything has an ending.
They delayed a month getting back to us, so we postponed our church meeting to vote on closing since we didn't have enough information to proceed. In March, our Conference Superintendent Mark Novak countered with an offer he was putting together with National Covenant Properties to offer us an equity share, line of credit, loan on our property. The loan would come through in April. It seems our work with the poor, the fact our church was growing, and the new faces in our leadership had convinced them that we were worth an investment.
We also benefited from a bad economy. Our property was worth 2 million in 2007. Now it was only worth 1.3 million. In eight months of trying to sell it in 2010 we received only one offer —for half of THAT!
In our denomination, when a church closes, all of its assets and property go to the Conference. It was worth it to them and to the greater denomination not to take such a huge loss on the property. Keeping us going for 2-3 years with a $200,00 investment was a smart business move. So we agreed to the loan and we took the property off the market in March.
Just a few weeks ago, our real-estate agent called saying he thinks he can now get the full 1.3 million. He was wondering if we are still interested in selling—HA! What a difference nine months make. (We said, no)
But, the loan didn’t fund in April. The Dept. of Church growth and Evangelism wanted to get involved making sure the deal was solid, saying that if we get such a loan, numerous other churches will be lining up to ask for the same deal. They wanted a detailed plan explaining why we would get a “yes” to such a deal when other churches might get a “no”. So things were put on hold as we filled out detailed plans and budgets, and paperwork.
The money we had that would only last until June somehow stretched us into the end of August. Through strange circumstances May saw a level of income that was high enough to not produce a loss. We even got odd, unexpected money, like a refund from the IRS for over charging us! One of our board members said they hadn’t remembered a break-even month in over a decade of their attendance.
The first phase (60K) of the equity loan funded the last few days of July. We spent some to stay afloat each month, and some to pay for much needed building projects. We know we will need to borrow more to make it through 2012, but for a church that should have been dead—it’s still quite amazing.
I however don’t care for the stress and wish God wouldn’t do these things to me. He’s making me old before my time. It’s a fine line between faith and stress— I cross it a lot!
Isaiah 11:1-3, A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit. The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the LORD — and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.
This famous Christmas-time verse is referring to the family line of king David (Jesse’s son). Long after the life of this family line of kings and rulers had been cut down and forgotten, a man would be born in the family line, like a shoot coming up out of a stump everyone thought dead, to become even more glorious than King David ever was. That inspired me this year.
We know we are a small, humble church growing by desperately poor people. We aren’t a great tree, just a little shoot, It seems God has plans for us which are bigger than our own plans. My prayer is that 2012 brings us more joy, hope, and strength than we could imagine.

The Power of Small Things

Yesterday a young woman came up to me during the homeless meal and handed me a card. It was a hand written thank you note for all we have done for her and her boyfriend. She has been coming to our meals for almost two years now. Her street name is Sunshine. I had to kick her out once, a while back for going off on another lady during Gonzaga’s Thursday night meal and almost getting into a brawl. She came back the next week apologizing for her mouth and behavior and she’s been cool since. A lot of these people need more than a second chance.
“I just can’t thank you enough for all you have done for me” she gushed.
“What do you mean?” I responded since I couldn’t really remember doing anything particularly grand for her.
“Last winter, me and my boyfriend got into our own apartment for the first time in a long time – you gave us those sheets of plastic?” she answered in a tone trying to helpfully remind me how I had been such a crucial part of her year. We keep rolls of painter’s plastic on hand so that whenever it rains, guys and ladies camping out can cut off a good ten or twelve foot section and cover their camp spot or lay it on the ground to keep them dry. Sunshine and her boyfriend were given several yards of plastic last winter after they had moved into their apartment.
“We used that plastic to cover our windows and our heat bill dropped from $145 a month to $80 a month” She excitedly said, adding with a sigh of relief, “That was the difference between us being able to eat or pay the phone bill or sometimes getting a bus pass each month. It literally saved us. We were so broke before that, we fell behind in rent and thank God the landlord was kind to us and let us stay anyway. With that extra amount we could get caught up and back on our feet.”
“I thought your housing was subsidized?” I responded, “Doesn’t that kind of guarantee your being able to stay?”
“Not really. You see, I have to support my three kids and my boyfriend has one child to support with his check.”
I had never seen them with children so I asked, “Where are your kids?”
“They’re in the foster care system and one is with my mom. Most of our government paychecks have child support taken out so there really isn’t near as much to live on for us” she explained. “I don’t mind though, I’m glad I can help them. Without your meals every Sunday and Gonzaga’s every Thursday night, along with the dog food you give us each week, we wouldn’t have made it.” Leaning in close she added, “You know I used to be a hardcore meth addict and heroin user. I’ve been clean for almost 11 years now. Without you guys helping us, I know I would’ve gone back to using again because I couldn’t take the stress anymore. I almost didn’t make it as it was – but I did! Thank you so much!”
She then told me how she had been praying to God more than ever before in her whole life and she felt like He wanted her to start giving back somehow. At the homeless shelter, House of Charity, a block away from our church there is a Hispanic man who is a janitor. She said she always sees him with a smile on his face and a positive attitude, even when he is cleaning up feces that were spread all over sinks and mirrors by some psycho nut job at the shelter. He always smiles and stay’s positive. She was thinking about giving back when she saw him one day leaving a church service somewhere. He had his seven kids in tow. Sunshine felt God say to her – “NOW, HIM!” So she gave him $50 bucks she had saved up. That was a ton of money to her. She was beaming at me when she told me how she felt giving it away because God told her to.
“It felt great” she exclaimed!
Her card had a hand drawn picture on the inside of a sun peaking over the horizon with a smiley face drawn on it and rays of light shooting off into the heavens. The note read; “Thanks. Can’t express our thankfulness for the support you’ve shown us. Knowing you guys is a great blessing. It was the good of others not giving up on us that gave us the strength we so need. Thank you for setting a good example, for that is the true teachings of God”!
I couldn’t help but think of, Mark 12:41-44 “Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins. Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.”
“Painter’s plastic and dog food saved her life and kept her off drugs”, I thought. WOW! Who would’ve guessed?! Sometimes it’s the small things. Every one of you who helps us, shares in this accomplishment! Her note is for you.

Living In A Paralell Universe

A while back I met with a couple of pastor friends from other downtown area churches. We meet regularly to talk and pray. One of them asked me “So, how do the elderly like having the homeless in their church service”?“Actually they don’t mind a bit,” I answered. “Everyone knows that the only reason our denomination is willing to fund us and keep our ministry going is because of our work with the poor.” “So, in an odd twist” he laughingly answered, “those little old ladies have to be thankful that homeless alcoholics and addicts have saved their church?!”

“Well, now that you put it that way—you’re right.” I mused. “I guess that would really only happen in some kind of odd parallel universe.” We both laughed.

I got to thinking about that funny insight and suddenly decided that I must be living in a parallel universe where the normal rules of social life no longer apply. Our board had come to the conclusion in December that we couldn’t financially survive past March 31. We made plans to begin the process of closing the church and dispersing come April of this year. Early talks with denominational leaders had them advising us to close. So, I submitted a plan for closure to them in early February. BUT a homeless person who loves our church and it’s ministry gave us $10,000 to keep going. Only in a parallel universe would the financial answers to a church’s crisis come from a homeless person. As a result, we could go to June. In March, with Superintendent Mark Novak’s help the denomination decided to help fund us instead. It was mostly due to our work with the poor and our signs of church growth. What church board meeting would decide that it’s answer to financial crisis and numerical decline would be to invite in homeless alcoholics and addicts? Not in our universe!

We cleaned out the church in late May and dumped 60 years worth of accumulated stuff, totaling 2-1/2 tons! I heard some of the many homeless people helping us comment, “Why can’t they clean up after themselves? Why do these church people have to be so messy?” I thought that was another parallel universe moment!

I’m finding new financial aid and having the best evangelism moments I’ve had in years, inviting others to our church by singing in the wine bar across the street. The Wine Bar helping our church grow. Mmmmm.

I recently met with a group of agency leaders who do non-profit work among the poor. I attend a lot of these kinds of meetings since I’m on the Leadership Team of the Homeless Coalition.One of the ladies on the board with me is an extremely liberal democrat-type who supports the aggressive antiwar, pro-marijuana work of the Peace and Justice Action League. She also has connections with the gay community and is very proud of her liberal position. She’s still stunned that she is actually friends with a conservative pastor of an Evangelical Church. She insists on calling me Pastor Rob rather than just Rob, because she likes to blow her friends and family away with the knowledge that we’re friends who work well together. Just to be shocking with them, she will begin a sentence with “Pastor Rob says - “.

I had been invited to this symposium because she highly recommended me. I listened while she told the other members about her recent experiences. “You know how the underprivileged clients come in to our offices very skeptical and cynical of the help we social workers offer?” she began as the group affirmed. “Well all I have to do is ask them if they’ve been to First Covenant Church and when they say ‘yes’, I tell them that I’m friends with Pastor Rob and immediately all of their guard drops and they trust me.” she laughed. It is in a parallel universe where a liberal democrat social worker has to name drop a conservative Christian to get in good graces with the poor. It must be in that same universe that the Christian and the social worker are genuine friends.

Peter addressed his first epistle to Christians who are “Strangers scattered throughout the world”. He meant foreigners, aliens, sojourners, who don’t really belong here but are only temporary visitors whose home is somewhere else. In the book of Hebrews chapter 11 the writer says this of Abraham; “By faith he made his home in the promised land, like a stranger in a foreign country; . . . . For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.. . . And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. . . .they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.” I suppose if we belong to another reality, a heavenly realm, if our true dwelling is in God’s house, then many of the rules and expectations of how the world actually works come from a parallel universe—a heavenly one. Living in a parallel universe should be the norm for all Christians. But it’s still hard to get used to.

The Actual Mission

Many years ago I was in a church that jumped on the band wagon of having a “mission statement”. It was the latest rage coming from the corporate world so churches were following suit. I guess we had forgotten why we existed and a cleverly assembled mission statement was the perfect solution.

      After countless weeks and months of development we put together a pithy two sentence statement that was then put on posters and brochures and promptly forgotten by most. The average person in our large church couldn’t have recited it or identified it from numerous other sayings. I noticed that we put the bulk of our emphasis, time, money and staff hiring on the last three words . . . “beginning with seekers.” That meant outreach events, evangelism strategies, and counting conversions were the dominant forces behind everything we did, That’s where the money got spent, the staff got hired and all purposes ended. That wasn’t morally wrong, it was just lopsided and out of balance with the Bible.

      Years later, after serving in several other churches and sitting through thousands of hours of board meetings, strategy sessions, team planning meetings, conferences, and training seminars, I came to the conclusion that the real, unspoken, and underlying mission statement of most of the churches I experienced was .  . . .  “We exist to get more people to come here, so that we could exist”.

     I once wondered out loud “If our church ceased to exist, who outside of our church would care?” In other words, it seemed we were totally self-serving. We existed only for those to whom we could gain a benefit if they stayed among us. But, If we disbanded, almost all of these people would simply be absorbed into one of the numerous other churches doing pretty much the same thing and no one would even notice the absence after a year or so. Only those who came and joined had any benefit from our existence. It felt rather - Well,- selfish.

     Last week when Gonzaga Campus Kitchen held it’s weekly meal for the poor in our gym, their leader, Emily came to me with tears in her eyes because she saw the For Sale signs on the building. Another woman who has worked for Spokane Neighborhood Action Program (SNAP) for many years, confided in me that a bunch of the agency people had taken bets a long time ago about how long I’d last. “You’ve made it more than twice as long as anyone thought” she told me. They’ve watched a lot of Christians come and go in this work. She used to be a Lutheran pastor’s wife for many years and thought the church would toss me out or I’d give up long before we got this far.

     Numerous homeless people have quietly come up to me almost in a state of panic and fear to ask “how long before this all goes away?” When the homeless saw the for sale signs, their sorrow ran deep, but they are so used to disappointment that they’re first reaction was to use their words and spend their time trying to console me. Which I thought was really touching. This is their place of hope and safety and they’re afraid it will disappear—even though only a small percentage have ever come to a church service, this is their home. “Like sanctuary” are the words most often used. They get dignity, respect and safety here.

     A lady from another non-profit told me at our last city-wide homeless coalition meeting,  she wanted to look up my number to call me but couldn’t remember the name of the church.  Sticking her head out of her office at the shelter she works in, she called out “What’s the name of that church where  . . . . “, “FIRST COVENANT” came the chorus of replies from the poor gathered there. They know us.

     Two weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon as I was talking with a homeless drunk, I couldn’t figure out why he was mad at me. Finally through his slurred words he blurted out, “Because everybody likes you! No mater where I go from one end of town to the other, everyone here on the streets talks about you and how great you guys are and how much they like coming here.” Why would this anger him? In the end it came out that he didn’t think any of those people deserved it. I found that ironic. None of us do, but love shines through anyway. That’s the Mission  of the church — GRACE!

     God knows what will come next. He loves the poor so we keep going. He has answers for our future, as a collective and as individuals. We   plan on holding on in faith until he leads us to what is next. But now I know what it feels like to be in a church were there are way more people outside of our doors who care about our existence than there are inside. It feels good.

Over looking my old town of Dublin California